The Goats: A Retrospective

Quincy and Avery play “king of the log”

I’m not going to apologize for having been gone for (omg it’s ALMOST DECEMBER ALREADY??) four months because I get annoyed when bloggers feel like they have to apologize for that. It’s their loss if nobody’s checking them out because they’re not there. So. I’m not going to start with an apology. I’m going to start with a sad face.


The goats are going away.


I won’t bore you with the details, but in short we’ve run into a teensy little problem with not being in compliance with city ordinance. And having somebody call animal control on us. Never mind that the caller accused us of keeping turkeys, guineas, and pheasants. The fact of the matter is, the super nice animal control officer happened to notice that although we are in noticeably short supply on turkeys, guineas, and pheasants, we do in fact have a pair of goats.

And the goats must go.

I cannot emphasize enough how super nice and professional the animal control officer was. He really seemed sorry to have to investigate us, and he let us know that as far as he was concerned, everything looked great. Well-cared-for animals, great facilities. Pets all up to date on vet care. But he still had to do his job, and his job includes enforcing ordinances.

Anyway. I have a couple ideas where I want them to go and DON’T WORRY, we will find a super awesome great home for them. In fact, we were already considering finding them a spot where they would have more space, so I can’t blame it all on the misinformed jerk who called animal control circumstances. Ever since they decided that a major electrical shock is no problem at all (see below), I’ve felt rather bad about how little space they have to live in, since the only way to contain them is 6-foot chain link.

So the whole animal control thing was really just a more dramatic and interesting though not entirely accurate explanation the tipping point. (They really did come and investigate, swearsies. It’s just that they WOULD let us keep the goats, IF we could afford to give them more space–which we had already decided we couldn’t/wouldn’t and so now it just puts a deadline on what we already knew was inevitable. See? That was much less interesting a story than the original one, wasn’t it?).

I will keep you updated. I hope. I don’t like to obligate my future self by making promises on her behalf. She gets annoyed with me about that. So I’ll just say I’ll possibly keep you updated. You can always follow me on Facebook or Google+ if you want a more reliable way of being updated.

And in the meantime, here’s a little personal goat history. With pictures!

July 2009: We brought home BABEEEEEE GOOAAATS! And here’s a baby human. SO CUTE. We plan to bring home a MILK GOAT. And have fresh GOAT MILK.

August 2009: The goats clean out the car: Car-cleaning baby goats… and a baby human. Cute AND funny.

Late 2009/2010: Our employment situation changes. I go back to work. Milk goat never gets purchased. 😦

February 2011: Then we set up this uber-cool portable fencing system that worked great for about a year until the goats decided they didn’t mind getting shocked half to death as long as they could have yummies (and when you’re a goat EVERYTHING is yummies) on the other side. Wait, we set this up in 2010 sometime. I just didn’t post about it till 2011.

April 2011: Oh look! A video! Of a goat! Eating poison ivy! LOVE THE GOATS!!

July 2011: I built a portable hay stand for the goats. It’s pretty neat. Still works great.

June 2012: We took walks in the woods and the goats climbed on cool stuff. The Faerie Palace!

Plus, here are a few more things that have happened in their lives that I didn’t post about:

  • They broke out of their fence the day before a big trip and we had to go out in the dark and repair the fence. I got a spider in my face. They did not apologize.
  • They went for walks around the lake. There were baby sweetgum trees to eat. It was yummy.
  • They got a new caretaker named Monty (my son) who has taken exceptional care of them and loves them. 😦 This makes me sad because he will be sad to say goodbye to them.

Monty and his goats

And so ends an era in our goat-herding lives. We will not be producing goat milk. Or jumping on trampolines with goats.

I am sad.


2 responses to “The Goats: A Retrospective

  1. It is my loss that you don’t blog more because I just adore your blogging voice. You do cross-outs better than anyone else. Once I went back and reread some of your posts YES I DID THAT OKAY. You’re just funny.

    Sorry about the goats. You are a good master though because you already knew there was a spacial problem.

    • Awwwww! Thank you. That makes my night. I will try try try to post more often. I need to let go of trying to make every single one a gem of perfection, and just post. I love this blog too, and maybe the gift of letting goats go is I’ll have more time for writing… ? Thank you. 🙂

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