Duck Math

Every Engineer, Mathematician, and First Grader, knows that 1 + 1 = 2.

But if you’re a Livestock Addict you know better. You have been initiated into the Arcane Secrets of Duck Math (or Goat Math or Chicken Math or Fill-In-Your-Particular-Addiction Math):

1 + 1 = 3 (Proof: “I picked out 2 cute ducklings from the feed store bin but that 1 remaining in the bottom started crying for his friends and I couldn’t just leave him there!”)

Once you have mastered the basic equation, you are ready to learn more. Now, for the first time ever, non-initiates may view a sampling of the exquisite and complex world of Duck Math. Read on:

3 + 3 – 3 = 6 (“My friend’s neighbor had three ducks she wasn’t taking care of, I HAD to bring them home and give them a good place to live, but I will definitely rehome them as soon as I can”)

6 + 1 = 11 (“Now that I have 6 ducks, one more won’t hurt but you can’t just hatch ONE egg so I’m going to put 8 eggs in the incubator that I got for Christmas and … “)

[1 + 1 (x 6)] + (8 – 2) / 2 = 6 (“OMG I have too many ducks and they’re stinky and too many males beating up on each other and the new pen I just built isn’t enough to keep them all apart so I have to rehome 5 males and now I have…”)

11 – 5 = 13 (“Well, I just got rid of a bunch of ducks and I have this fancy new pen so I can purchase that very cool flock of only 8 ducks in a breed and color I’ve been wanting forever”)

13 + x = 13x (“Now I have too many males but I can’t part with any of them so I’d better buy a few more females plus two of them have gone broody and I can’t stand an empty incubator plus everyone is dumping their unwanted and abandoned ducks on me so I have…”)

1 + 1 = Too Many To Count

And now you know.


5 responses to “Duck Math

  1. First I was a victim of general critter math. Horses, dogs, cats, hamsters, mice… you know how it is. Especially when you have kids who also suffer. 😀
    Got that under control and then succumbed to Bunny math.
    Beat Bunny Math and caught chicken math.
    Having remedied THAT, I am now in the clutches of Duck Math!
    I now want geese, guineas, goats and rabbits. My husband, however, does not. I can see the writing on the wall… I think I will leave well enough alone and stick with ducks. That way I can keep my husband, too. 😉

    (I think it is too late for my friend who is currently suffering from chicken AND turkey math XD)

    • I think, so long as you don’t succumb to Husband Math, your marriage will probably survive! 😉 Now about those goats… I am thinking of looking for a perfectly wonderful home for the two goat caprine sweeties frequently featured in this blog… you need a couple of wethers to help you clear brush, right? 😉

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